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Photo: Vadim Izoita

Everyone I know is traveling. I am too, although not via trains, planes, and automobiles, vicariously through them. The sad thing with this kind of traveling is that my collection of travel advice is as idle as my unpacked suitcase. I would love to share it with you, perhaps you can make better use of it?

7 Travel Tips To Help You Glide Through Europe

My best tips came from, Mr. Basil Moutsatsos, my Greek Humanities teacher from way back. Since I’m not using them right now, maybe you can benefit from this brilliant travel advice:

Always carry water and toilet paper. Lock bags and do not store anything in those little outside compartments of your luggage, they are pickpocket territory. Watch your belongings closely.
When searching for good quality food at good prices in a city such as Venice, look around until you spot an elderly woman confidently marching somewhere. Follow her at a distance, if she enters a restaurant — go there! Venerable local women may be trusted in this matter for two reasons: they do not eat bad food and they do not waste their money.
Do not dress like a tourist, leave the khaki shorts and binoculars at home, they are red flags for bulls.
When traveling through beautiful, antiquated cities do not worry about getting lost. Getting lost on the wrong side of Austria may open up a whole world of unmarked fineries to relish. Do not waste the entire trip staring into a travel manual; look up, wander and stumble into things.
When in France check if the person you wish to speak with knows English before offending him or her with amateur French. The French prize beauty and eloquence above all things and butchered French is neither beautiful nor eloquent. They prefer to butcher your language rather than suffer the abuse of their own and as a guest— comply.
If there is a language barrier, repeating the same phrase louder and louder with each repetition will not enhance communication, use hand gestures or consult Google. Yelling at people in strange tongues is bad foreign relations.
Do not point. Do not stare and never ever climb public monuments—